Critics and Picket Fences

Critics and Picket Fences 

Jessica Sunday

Let's face it. We all have critics. I'm not talking about those professors or friends of yours who offer constructive criticism either. No, we all need that. We all must accept that; however, I am speaking of those people in your life that just want to tear you down. These are the people who want to try to find every flaw about you and shine the spotlight on each one of them. 
I have many flaws. 

I am not intimidated by that fact. Why? I am not called to live in my flaws; I am called to live in the forgiveness that I was offered. The truth is, we will never be flawless. Never. However, in the sanctification Christ has us in, we ought to be becoming more like Him. Yeah, we will have our flaws, but we understand that we do not need to define ourselves by them. He has freed us to live in the fullness of Him. We should learn from our flaws and use them to glorify God by testifying to others how you have experienced victory from a certain flaw that Christ refined. As much as we live in this truth, there are people out there that want to pinpoint your every flaw. Instead of letting them get the victory in that, put up your picket fence. Take a stance, and live in victory of what Christ has begun in you. 

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:" - Phil. 1:6

Do not build that picket fence to isolate yourself from everyone around you. Build this fence around your heart to protect you from the hurt critics will bring into your life. By building this protective barrier, you choose to say no to opening up hurt, assumptions, rejections, and self-doubt. If you are not careful, this cycle of saying yes to critics by not surrounding your heart with a picket fence will eat at you every time critics strike you until one day you are left torn down not living loved by a lovely Savior. You must choose in these moments of building to surround yourself with people who see you living in the Truth of God's goodness in your life. Be authentic. Be real. 

Another hard truth is that critics usually can see how authentic you really are, how real you are with people, how compassionate you are, how loving you are, and how you really do have a genuine relationship with your Lord. No, you do not claim to be perfect, but you claim the perfect plan God has for you. In that, you find you are more than enough in God's tender care. You realize that His love, His insight, and His thoughts concerning your life are enough. You are now free from the rope of rejection, jealousy, pride, and doubt you were once entangled in. This changes you. You now choose to be entangled in Christ's loving arms of comfort, peace, security, (agape) love, and mercy. 

The next time your critics seek to destroy the walls of your heart by stating you are not "cut out" to do something, you are not good enough because _____________, you are too ________,  take a deep look within, humble yourself, and rest assured that you already have that picket fence built. Choose to love instead of react in the moment. Choose to offer grace instead of voicing regrettable words. Choose to offer mercy instead of brimstone judgment. Extend a forgiving spirit (Eph. 4:32), a loving prayer (Matt. 5:44), and a peaceful heart (Rom. 12:18; II Cor. 13:11). Purpose in your heart not to be defined by hurtful side comments that are exposed right among the presence of your friends, by insecurities that they think you have, by remarks of conceit and lies, or by any other hurt you have experienced by your critics. Hurt cuts so deep that it can cause an infection, but determine to bandage that wound up and live in the authority of God's perfect purpose for your life. Remember, there are many who love, appreciate, and need your genuine presence in their lives! 

Living Loved in an Unlovely World

              

Living Loved in an Unlovely World 

            
          Jessica Sunday 

I believe living loved entails a lot, but one thing it requires is utmost honesty. I find it hard in my own life to live loved when around me is an unlovely world that has the mentality of "Every man for himself." Some may like to call it a "Dog eat dog" world. When it all comes down to it, there is a sense that everyone needs to find satisfaction in the next best thing. We need to be better than the next person. We need to give more money to a charity than the next person. So, the vicious cycle continues. As if finding the next best, being better, or giving more than the next person is going to fill that void of living loved. So, people continue to search for love in their career, hobby, relationship, or even the applause of others around them. However, living loved is not defined by these things. We must go a step further and understand what living loved entails. 

Living loved calls us to contentment.  There is nothing more draining than comparing ourselves to others. We try to match up to our perception of somebody else. We may even go so far as to act, dress, or become like the person who we think is by far more __________ than us. Take this time to fill in the blank. Some may fill it in with words such as beautiful, intelligent, skinny, athletic, positive, hilarious, muscular, or wealthy. Without realizing it, we fall victim to living less instead of living loved. Why? We are not called to compare; we are called to contentment  (Phil. 4:11; I Thess.6:6) . The beautiful thing is that we are all blessed in different ways, and we should be content with that. God loves us so much that He calls His sons and daughters  beautiful, chosen, set apart, and very good (Gen. 1:31). When we discredit what we were created to be, we discredit the Master who so carefully formed us in His own image. Once we find peace with contentment, we will be on our way to living loved by a lovely God.

Living loved calls us to acceptance. Currently I am reading a book that I think was written for me. It is entitled, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely. I highly recommend reading this book. It is shaping me, but this is where the phrase "living loved" spoke to me. So, I continue to brainstorm how I need to live loved in my life. Thus, living loved calls us to acceptance. Sure, it is easy to live loved when everyone else around is loving you, adoring you, complimenting you, and cheering you on. Let alone commenting and liking everything on your social media outlet, right? Then there are other days when living loved is not so easy. We have all heard people say or have perhaps said this ourselves: "It's just one of those days." In the back of our minds we are saying : It's just one of those days where ___________ (Fill in the blank).  One of those days where... people are out to get me, my children are not listening to me, my professor's expectations of me are impossible, my finances are quickly emptying, or how about this one, she must have meant such-and-such by saying it with this face, this tone, and this body language. The truth of the matter is that living loved is not tied to rejection. In essence, when we reject ourselves we live like others are rejecting us as well. That is just not the case. Plus, if that said individual is rejecting you, most likely that person is not living loved themselves. Learn to accept yourself and, accept the fact that the scenarios we create are not accurate. So, once we have acceptance of ourselves and others, we leave no room to be choked out by rejection.

Living loved calls us to joy. Not everything in life is going to make you happy, but it is possible to choose joy in the midst of the craziness. Happiness and joy are two different concepts. Happiness is dependent on the circumstances around you, but joy is defined by the life of an individual who has faith that God is in control. Joy flows out of this person having confidence in her Lord (II Cor. 6:4-10).  She does not let the world steal her joy but rather gives it freely to herself and the ones around her. Choose joy in the midst of trials because those trials may not make you happy because what is happening around you, but that joy will give you overwhelming peace about the situation. Remember, that true peace and joy comes from Christ. When we choose to live loved, we choose joy.

Living loved calls us to honesty. At the beginning of this entry, I mentioned that living loved requires utmost honesty. Not only does it require us to be honest about how we are living loved in contentment, acceptance, and joy, but also it requires us to be honest about believing the truth versus believing the lies. What lies am I talking about? If you are anything like me, it is easy for us to believe the lies of society, Satan, and others. This background noise blasts its speakers into our already confusing, busy, and amazing lives. It blares lies of self-doubt and defeat. There is a lie of not being "cut out" for something. So, we turn up the volume and listen intently when people say ever so loudly - You are not the ________ type (Fill in the blank). You are not the traveling type, you are not the scientific type, and you are definitely not the leadership type. You are not cut out for this line of work. You are not cut out to complete this task. You are just blatantly over your head. We must purpose in our hearts to not just go as far as turning down the volume of such lies. We must decide to turn off the radio. We must turn it to a different station - the station of Truth. I am talking about Jesus because Jesus is truth, and He has a lot to say about who we are and what we are capable of. Jesus says we can do all things through Him (Phil. 4:13). He tells us that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us our desires (Psalm 37:4). When the world wants to drain you with evil and discouraging words, Christ reminds us that  He does not think evil towards us. He thinks of prospering thoughts of peace toward us (Jer. 29:11). In II Timothy 1:7, Jesus tells us that He does not give us the spirit of fear. He gives us power, love, and a sound mind! We do not have to be afraid of difficult tasks. We have Christ on our side, and that should be sufficient because if Christ is for us, who can be against us? (Rom. 8:31). I want to leave you with this verse in Philippians 4:8 to combat the lies and replace them with truth.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Let me invite you to live loved in an unlovely world. Together let us live in contentment, acceptance, joy, and honesty of what Christ has called us to. Let us rid ourselves of the comparisons, rejections, and lies. Remember what we are called to instead of living captive to the "unlovely" strongholds in our lives. Let us be known to be living loved by a lovely God.