Baby Nurses, Seasoned Nurses, and Everything in Between

Baby Nurses, Seasoned Nurses,and 

Everything in Between

Jessica Sunday

I cannot believe that I have been a nurse for four months already! As a newer nurse, I can say that it has been a roller coaster. There have been lows, but honey, there have been highs. I am thankful for the lows because the lows are teaching me where improvement is necessary while other lows are showing me the value of life. The highs have assured me that I am in the right profession while they have also taught me that I CAN do this 'nurse thing.' Like the good old saying goes... if there were no highs and lows, we would be dead. It goes something like that anyway. The message still holds true. It is all about the balance in nursing. 

About two shifts ago, I felt very encouraged by the way I time managed my patients' care, charted in a timely manner,  interpreted cardiac rhythms (for those of you who are totally lost right now, rhythm interpretation is measuring and reading heart rhythms of your patients), called doctors, answered calls, administered medications,  discharged, admitted, and transferred patients all before my shift was over. For those of you who are first-hand witnesses of my ongoing journey, you know it took me awhile to gain the confidence I needed to fulfill my roles as a new nurse. 

Each day brings with it a new lesson learned by those "new nurse slip-ups." Here are a few that are common as a new nurse, and not all of these were ones I did either. When you call the doctor, you had better be darn sure you know ALL the home medications your patient is taking or that call may end quickly. Always be conscientious on labs that are drawn, drips that are running, and tests that are scheduled. You cannot always depend on the hand-off report given; you must dig deeper yourself. If you need help, ASK! Your team leader is there to guide you if you really need help. I mean, how else are you supposed to hang blood and do an admission at the same time?  You may need your fellow nurse family to help you interpret doctor orders, written discharges, or telephone calls until you get accustomed to the new interpretation. Nursing students, you think the medications are hard to pronounce? Just kidding. They still are! Remember to sign your orders off before the end of your shift! Those are just some examples of what I have learned over the last few months. 

With that being said, never forget how far you have come, new and seasoned nurse alike. The new nurses may need a little patience and direction. The seasoned nurse, we desire to emulate you one day, so be gentle in knowing just how far you have come as well. Also, never forget who has helped you along the way. This includes your mentors, unit directors, boss, coworkers, doctors, college professors, friends, and family. They have all played a strategic part in making you successful. That may include working extra hours to help you with college tuition, staying up later to grade exams, offering constructive criticism in hopes to see you bloom as a nurse, or even extending orientation to be sure you can be successful and safe on the unit you are working on. So, take that shift in where you felt successful, but do not forget the many people who have played a role in cultivating that confidence and milestone in your life. 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: ...A time to be born, and a time to die; ... a time to break down, and a time to build up; ... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; ..." 

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4  

To The Man or Woman Afraid to Jump

 To The Man or Woman Afraid to Jump 

Jessica Sunday

Jump.

A four letter word that requires so much contemplation at times. Sometimes the jumps we take in life are moments of great fear often overshadowing us with hesitancy. It is in the dark questions before the jump which keep us chained down. What if I jump?  What if I get hurt by "the jump" I want to take? What if I do this and fall right on my face? What then, friend? 

Believe it or not, we all have taken jumps in life. Some we were required to take to get us to a certain place regardless of the journey while others were jumps of our own accord. Some jumps we had to take in life were ones that took us to places of achievement such as getting promoted to the next grade in school. Those stepping stones filled our bodies with nervous emotions during those early years. I mean, we all knew the next grade got more challenging, right? Maybe that was only me who had that fear of entering a new grade in elementary and high school. Then, there was the "first job jump." We had to prepare our resume and pretend what our first job interview would be like. Those were just two examples of jumps required in order to get us to a specific place. In hindsight, those were decisions we were going to have to make in order to find part of our purpose in life - a completed education and a job. Do you know what though? You made those jumps! Congratulations! 

Other jumps are not as easy. These are "jumps" you decide to take on your own accord such as the "social dilemma jump." This is a jump everyone needs to decide on continually throughout one's life. It is an everyday battle to reflect on what side you stand your ground. It is a jump one is introduced to at a young age. Do I do what everyone else is doing to be popular or should I do what is right that everyone mocks? Someone once said that what is popular is not always morally right to do and what is morally right to do is not always popular. It is a jump that will cost you friends if you decide to go against the social norms and live your life in an honorable way despite of the unpopularity it brings. Stand firm in those beliefs, and do not be shaken. Know that jump will be worth it. 

Furthermore, there are other jumps that are important to make of your own accord because of someone's actions toward you. Remember, the saying, "Actions speak louder than words."? My friend, they do! Someone's actions may be so hurtful that you must decide to jump for the better. Yes, I just said for the b.e.t.t.e.r.  This is not a "peace-out I am leaving you hanging jump." The ones who truly know you are confident of the man or woman you are at core value. They know deep desires you have, the next goal you want to accomplish, the messy battle you are facing, and the downcast emotion you carry on the inside when everyone else sees the smile. At core value, they see the lovely heart you truly do possess. The heart that person has would surpass anything for those around him or her even the people that cause that person unnecessary distress. It is the unlovely person who is indifferent to those core values everyone else knows well except himself or herself because they were too busy crippling the person they claimed to love with sharp words of resentment and cruelty. The words were followed by trends of their actions of disrespect and division. 

I said something the other day that convicted myself. It went something like, "You are great at being there for those who hurt you, but now it is time to know your worth." There is only so far you can go in helping others. People need to have a desire to help themselves which is not always the case.  Some have no ambition to move forward and will continue the record of their actions toward you.  In those times, know your worth. Know the difference between God's grace and being gentle with yourself- your emotions, your actions, and your energy. Know the difference between being the byproduct of someone's actions of  harm versus knowing when to walk away in understanding your worth. Remember, the one reading this post is worth it. 

In the beginning of the post I contemplated some questions of fear we often think before we take that next jump. What if we decided to shift our thinking to the positive of that next jump? 

Let's shift our perspective. 

• What if I jump? No. When will I jump?  
• What if I get hurt by "the jump" I want to take? No. What will it take for me to grow from the jump I will take? 
• What if I do this and fall right on my face? No. When will I do this and stand firm on everything that led me to this jump? 
• What then, friend? Yes, what then, friend? 

Do you still have doubts about taking your jump?
Take my hand, and let us jump together!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

II Timothy 1:7 

Hostel to Hospital

Hostel to Hospital 

Jessica Sunday

There was a time when I was curious about what it was like to experience foreign healthcare. Perhaps, others wonder the same thing. My curiosity became reality in July when I traveled to London for a mission's trip. From missions to medications from the hostel to the hospital, it will be an experience that will be joyfully and painfully remembered. What it took to get me there was a painful experience, but joy comes in the morning, right? Literally. However, for the purpose of this blog post, I will focus on the joy of experiencing foreign healthcare, the importance of advocating for oneself, and the benefit of leaning on God when you feel alone.

To be honest, I felt pretty confident in the healthcare I received in London. It may not be exactly like the States, but overall, the care I received was what I needed while I was over there physically ill and drained of energy. The IV I got placed in my hand hurt, but I was so thankful that I was able to get the fluids and steroids I needed to get well. Although I would not place my confidence in foreign healthcare in all countries, I would definitely encourage one not to be hesitant if they were traveling in London and needed to be seen. The downside of the ER or faster care in the hospital is that it is a very slow process taking up to 5 hours! Although it was a process to be seen while I was in the hospital, I am thankful that their healthcare was free of charge. 

In the States we are so blessed to be able to give patients their fluids on a pump via cassette tubing; whereas, in a lot of countries, they run IV fluids by use of gravity. Of course they still have their version of HIPAA laws so I was not allowed to call the hospital for my lab results the next day. I was to return to the hospital to receive them. To say the least, my tonsils were grossly infected, and I ended up having tonsillitis and mono. I had been infected from earlier on in the week. Attempting to swallow applesauce to be able to take my pain medications had me in tears. The doctor informed me that if I would have waited any longer that my tonsils would have abscessed. He quickly placed me on a high dose of antibiotics 3x per day allowing the infection to begin to get better. You can only imagine what had brewed in my mouth nearing the end of the week. YUCK! I will save you all from looking at those photos as they are disgusting. You're welcome. 

            

As healthcare professionals, it is instilled in us from the beginning of our education and careers to advocate for our patients, but what happens when that patient is you and it took a long and exhausting process of advocating for yourself to get to where you needed to be - the hospital? Think of it this way: you are a healthcare professional on a trip who needs medical attention, but your voice is not being heard or there is a lack of being taken seriously. This puts yourself in a difficult situation balancing that the people who are not taking you seriously have a lack of medical knowledge versus the battle I  fought  to get to where I am today as a healthcare professional. If I could encourage anyone with something, I would say, advocating for oneself is crucial in the healthcare delivery system. It is necessary for your own health and wellness. Never be afraid of advocating for yourself and seeking out the care you need because in the end, you are the one suffering. Listen to your body and the care it needs to get well. With that being said, it is important to make the best of the situation you find yourself. Although I did not get to go to the hospital until the end of the week, it did not mean that I did not make the best of where I was. If I was inviting others to church or touring the Eiffel Tower, I did my best to be happy even if I was feeling awful. This is not to be mistaken for "not" being ill just because I was making the best of the situation. Some disagree. For example, if I had a patient in the hospital who was in pain and they state that their pain level is a 9 out of 10 and they are not crying, I am not going to deny them their pain medication. Remember, you may not always be able to confide in others to take you seriously from the beginning, but you should never quit advocating for yourself when the time arises. Note: I am thankful for the people who did finally take me to the hospital, but I am not happy with the events leading up to that. 

 Lastly, I cannot stress enough the importance of leaning on God when you feel alone. I am not blogging to rehash my hurt and betrayal I felt, but I am here now to say that God is the peace you have in the solitude. In the midst of feeling alone even after getting medical treatment is a heart wrenching experience. You endeavor to lean on God and the people you can confide in back home. I think feeling alone in a different country is a very unsettling feeling. It is scary. It is uncomfortable. I did not feel as if it was beneficial during that time; however, looking back, going through this was beneficial for a few reasons. Here a few reasons why leaning on God when you feel alone is beneficial.

1. It is beneficial to lean on God in your loneliness because God never forsakes you or leaves you. 
2. It is beneficial to lean on God when you feel alone because God knows what it feels like to be alone. 
3. It is beneficial to lean on God when you are alone because He will reveal to you ways to use unfortunate circumstances for His glory such as feeling the lack of advocacy to encourage you to be sure to advocate for your patients. 
4. It is beneficial to lean on God when you feel alone because when the frailty of man has ceased to take things seriously even back home, you are encouraged that you are to follow God and trust that He will fight your battles. 
5. Lastly, It is beneficial to lean on God when you are alone because He bends His ear to listen to your every heartache, every need, and every longing that you have.

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 

Romans 8:31

A Message to Mental Health

A Message to Mental Health 

Jessica Sunday 

One thing I have learned over the past 3 years working in Behavioral Health is that mental illness is not prejudice, and it does not discriminate. It does not matter if you appear to  have it altogether or whether you feel as if your life is hanging on by a thread. It can affect anyone of us. I would venture to say that it has already reached our lives. This may mean reaching us directly or perhaps you have witnessed someone you love dearly battle with mental illness. 

Let us be honest. Let us be real. 

We all face mental illness in some form. We may have struggled with anxiety and depression to name two. What we need right now is to break the stigma of mental health. There is a strong negative pull when it comes to it, and having worked in it, gives me more of a purpose and a passion to break that magnetic force between the physical and the mental realm of nursing. 

When I say the name Kate Spade, what do you think of? Our thoughts may wander to handbags, high end fashion, classy, put together, lovely, expensive and the list goes on. The difference between what I listed is the person and the brand. Although Kate Spade is iconic for her handbags, she is not a handbag. She, herself, is not expensive. It seems silly to mention that, but my point is we can live our lives behind a label without anyone knowing the deep battles we face. I am not saying Kate Spade was hiding behind that label; however, what I am saying is that so many times people hide behind labels. For the sake of illustration I will name a few labels we hide behind. Often times we hide behind our plastered smiles, our exuberant laughs, and our notorious careers only to fool those around us of the deep issues we are facing. Issues nobody may be aware of except for ourselves. Issues that if we do not get open and honest about could cost us our careers, our families, our health, or our lives. 

So, there it was.  June 6, 2018,  came and gone, but it did not leave without a stamp on it. It did not leave without feeling the world's grief on that day. It left a mark - she left a mark. When you look at a handbag of hers or stand outside the store of Kate Spade, like I did yesterday, let that be a moment of silence, reflection, and awareness. What if we were honest and open about our deep struggles? What if the stigma against mental health was something we all looked back on and people accepted? What if we did not shame mental illness as a nation, a church, a society, or a company? I believe it would save many lives. It would give hope to the helpless, dreams to the downcast, answers to the anxious, and saving to the substance abuser. 

If you struggle with depression or any other forms of mental illness, please do not feel like you are not loved, wanted, or enough. If nobody tells you this today, allow me to speak life into your beautiful soul. You are loved. You are wanted. You are enough. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are never too much. You are always enough. You have purpose. You have life. 

Remember, the best is yet to come.  

If you or someone you love are having thoughts of suicide 

please dial 1-800-273-8255 

Let us remember to lift up the family of Kate Spade in prayer as they are facing immense grief right now as they mourn the loss of their friend, hero, mother, sister, and wife.  Pray for specific comfort that only God can bestow, and that, in time, their hearts would be healed.

"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." 

Isaiah 41:10 

Dear Satan ...

Dear Satan ...

Jessica Sunday 

I have quite a few words for you, and this letter is long overdue. It should have been written long ago. I am going to start with telling you how much I hate you. I figured that is okay for a Christian to say since all you desire for anyone's life is to conquer and destroy our lives. What do I expect from you? You are full of filth and guile and utterly disgust me. I've never hated so much in my life than I do right now, but I am glad my hatred is directed towards you. Satan, as I was getting ready this morning I honestly said something to the extent of I cannot wait until the Lord casts you into the Lake of Fire.  That day will come. So, as much as you try to fight me, know that I am not backing down. Know that God will give me the strength to overcome you. Know that you would not be casting me down so much if you did not know that God has an extraordinary plan He is going to fulfill in and through my life. Sometimes I like when you attack me because I know that God has a plan and that you are so infuriated to see my life shining for Christ. Other times, you leave me frustrated, defeated, and angry. Let me explain. 

I hate when you always find a way to bring me to my lowest point each semester. Guess what? God never fails to see me through. You bring chaos, division, and situations that devastate me in the midst of every semester. I mean, maybe I should thank you for being so consistent because I should have seen this coming, right? No. Actually, I did not see this  coming. You know what I hate the most about you? I absolutely hate when you speak lies of self-doubt, inadequacy, hurt, and past mistakes into someone's life. You never cease to let them forget and just move on.  You steal their life away, their joy, the normalcy they should be living, and you keep them in a pit of despair. My anger towards you is relentless and always will be. I hate you. 

As long as I have breath in my lungs, I will lift my eyes unto the Lord because He sees what you are doing. He is not unaware of the fiery darts you're throwing or the snares you are placing along the path. It is God who will fight my battles. It is God who will distinguish and divert those darts, and it is God who will disable the snares. So, have no fear my Father God is near. I will be in much prayer that the Lord will say no often to you and that He will hinder you from the lies you are speaking to so many. The lies of not feeling good enough, adequate enough, perfect enough, confident enough, and complete enough for anyone's love. Just in case you forgot, His will will always be manifested, and God gets His way in my life. I die to self so that He will be glorified in other's lives. As we continue to disgust each other, know that I will not be backing down, so you may want to put on your punching gloves. You know how determined I am so you should have already had them on. Also, you are leading so many to Hell that it is far from a party. It breaks my heart the most. Every breath I breathe, I will be certain to proclaim His name by the way I live my life and the edifying words I share. Unlike you, Satan, He loves each and every one you try to sift from the path. Remember this letter when I find myself laughing at your final defeat because in case you forgot, God wins! 

                                                                                           With much hate, 

                                                                                            Jessica Sunday 

Dear Nursing School

Dear Nursing School 

Jessica Sunday 

If anyone has not noticed yet, I am addressing this blog to what I have dedicated the past four years of my life to which is my college education. 

Nursing school, you have turned my life upside down from the very day I started.  Even now you are disrupting my life. As I should be studying for my second exam right now, I find myself in need of writing something to you before I can focus my studying. I need to thank you for a few things, but I also need to call you out on some things. I am not sure which I should start with. Perhaps the bad. 

Nursing school, I want you to know that I have always wanted a challenge in life. My determined spirit carried me from childhood to my senior year of high school. Because I liked a challenge, I chose you as I entered adulthood. You did not leave me disappointed; you gave me a challenge that will carry throughout life.  What I did not know at the time was how much this path would demand of me. It demands my time, energy, sleep, family, friends, and sometimes my personality. Let me explain. I do not mind it costing me my time, energy, and sleep; however, you have creeped into my life trying to create a different version of me. You really know how to disregard my personality. When I would rather be there for my family and friends 100% of the time, you make sure to consume 90% of my attention. When you go against my personality like this, it really depletes me. You know people mean more to me. It is kind of funny actually because nursing is  about caring for people, yet in the process of learning how to care for people, I am called to push people away at times. You taught me to say "No" when my heart screamed "Yes." I am not sure if I am thankful for that, but I know it had to be said. 

At least you allow me to satisfy my coffee cravings and let me study at coffee shops, right? I mean, it does give me some motivation to study-on. I just do not like when I go on more coffee dates with my books than I go out with my friends or family. It offsets who I am. I also do not like when I spend time working on specific projects that are not graded such as pathos that are of a great length only to have nothing contribute to my grade. No, not even the clinical hours put in count. I learn by doing which means clinicals enhance my learning. I succeed at this. Unfortunately, you try to define who I am according to my exam score. Nursing school, my percentage is far from who I am or what I am capable in achieving in my nursing career or in my life in general. I want you to always know that. 

Now that I called you out on a few things, I want to thank you for some things. You have made me a stronger person through all of these hard circumstances especially when you thought you could define who I was when I missed one of my semesters by two points. Sweetheart, I waited a year to come back to you with even more determination. So, be nice. Not everyone comes back to you.  I promise not to underestimate you if you promise not to underestimate me. Thank you for showing me what hard work looks like. Thank you for helping me mold my "nurse face" on at the moments I need it. You are still in the process of creating the tough nursing skin on me, but make sure it is not completely calloused when the transformation is complete. I will always need to carry a soft heart with me as I care for the sick, or that is the day that I will leave you even after that difficult education because my heart means far more to me than a degree. 

Thank you for teaching me how beautiful yet fragile life is. From the first cry a baby shrills out to the last breath someone exhales, it all puts life into the perspective it needs to be placed. I want to thank you for all of these things. 

My words of affirmations begin because ever since the first day of this last semester, I have been worried, depleted, discouraged, negative, and doubtful. It STOPS HERE because nursing school is about finding the balance and the heart. 

I will study hard. 

I will invest my time, energy, and sleep. 

I will say "no." 

I will not doubt myself. 

I will be a better person because of this discipline. 

I will show up and be all there. 

I will think positive thoughts. 

I will do all things through Christ's strength. 

I will not succeed in my own abilities.

I will pass in His wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and strength.
I will not let the result of nursing school define who I am. 

I will be a nurse who exemplifies compassion. 

In essence, I am a nurse. 

"Now therefore stand and see this great thing, which the Lord will do before your eyes." 

I Samuel 12:16