Dealing With Betrayal: 

When Someone You Thought Couldn't - Did. 

Jessica Sunday 

Have you ever went through something you did not know how to get through, and you just needed a Word from the Savior? I have! I have been there recently. I thought I began a healing process, but I did not know how to heal. I did not know where to start. Of course I wanted God to help me, but I did not have a game plan. I just thought, "Well, whatever I am going through right now will pass eventually." I knew deep down that the pain of betrayal I felt would pass. It would vanish, and I would move on. The issue was still there and without realizing, I was not addressing my problem. I was covering the hurt in empty words such as: I love you. I forgive you. Do not worry about it. I am in a process of healing. It is fine. Although I meant what I said, I was trapped in not knowing how to heal. All I knew is that I need a Word from my Savior in order to heal properly.

Wednesday evening came, and the Lord knew I needed the message my pastor brought forth. He directed us to the passage of John 13. This is the passage of the Last Supper. Jesus gathers with His disciples to teach them a lesson about servant-hood by washing their feet. As the evening continued, Jesus told the disciples that one of them would betray him. Obviously, the disciples wanted to know who would betray Him. Jesus then told His disciples that the person that would betray Him would be  the person who He gave the morsel of bread to after He dipped it. After Jesus gave the sop to Judas, Jesus said, "That thou doest, do quickly." I learned something new that I never realized before. In verse 28 the Bible says, "Now no man at the table knew for what intent (purpose) he spake this unto him." The disciples were so fixated on who would be the greatest among them that they did not even realize what Jesus had told them previously. They overlooked that Jesus had given the sop to Judas. Instead of Jesus exposing Judas' intent to His disciples, He taught them three valuable lessons we can apply to our lives when we experience betrayal.

1. He humbled Himself. Jesus knew that Judas was going to be the one to betray Him, yet He still served Judas by washing his feet. One vital thing my pastor addressed was that Jesus was willing to embrace our filth. He was willing to take on our filth despite knowing that we would betray Him.
"And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." - Philippians 2:8

2. He offered grace extended. Jesus did not try to expose Judas' betrayal after the disciples missed it. Do not air someone's dirty laundry around. We all fail. We need to demonstrate grace. My pastor continued to teach his congregation that without humility and grace we cannot love people.

3. He loved people despite of betrayal. Instead of focusing on the betrayal, Jesus saw the betrayal as the glory to come (John 13: 31-32). Love people that do not deserve your love back. Love the unlovely. My pastor concluded that loving people is the greatest testimony that we have learned the valuable lesson of getting over betrayal.

Is your spirit troubled from being betrayed? Did someone wrong you that you never thought would - but did? The first step of the healing process is to humble yourself despite of the hurt you are experiencing. Secondly, extend grace, and you will be surprised with humility and grace how much you will be able to love that person like Christ loves that person. Finally, you will be free and experience the healing that only comes from Jesus Christ.

A Bottle Full of Sorrow

                
      A Bottle Full of Sorrow 

          Jessica Sunday

My heart has been heavy lately for the people who are hurting around me as well as some emotions that are hitting me - emotions that I am not used to feeling. As I look around, there are family, friends, co-workers, and strangers who are full of hurt. Maybe you are there or maybe you are the one causing the hurt. Maybe you do not realize you are hurting, maybe you are brave enough to admit you feel a deep hurt, or maybe pride keeps you from seeing you are the cause. One thing is for certain and that is that self evaluation is necessary. Examine your heart to see what category you belong. This is when true healing is restored. 

Have you ever had someone you love so much take a step or perhaps ten steps in the wrong direction? This could range anywhere from turning their back on God, falling into addiction, fixating on pornography, compromising their purity, not managing their health, or fill in the blank. It could be a parent belittling you making you feel worthless, a sibling that wants nothing more than to see you fail, or a co-worker who cannot wait to see the flaws you possess. Or maybe you have had a friend who has drifted a part or who asks everyone how you are doing without asking you directly? Maybe the friend you thought would never betray you has in some small way. Or maybe your relationship just took a turn for the worst. If you have watched someone go through one of these situations or this is happening to you right now, remember, it is okay to be experiencing a heavy heart. 

I am experiencing some of these hurts in my own life. Of course it is never easy, but I know I will get past these hurts. Life goes on - it never stops for anyone. But there is something that captured my heart tonight as I am sitting here quiet with an IV pump playing the background music of the early morning. It is this: Jesus sees my heavy heart, and He even catches each tear drop. I am so blessed to know the Man who collects each tear that drops. Granite, I have not cried, but it is comforting to know Jesus does care about my hurt. Psalm 56:8 says, "Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?" Christ captures my tears! Is it not reassuring to know that He catches yours too? 

Although having a heavy heart in the midst of these circumstances is very human, we must determine not to be ruled by the hurt. It is easy to make excuses, cast blame, demonstrate pity, or neglect yourself or others when you reach a low; however, we need to purpose in our hearts to surrender our tears over to the One who holds our hearts - the One who gives us the air we breathe to fill our lungs. He is the One who allows our heart to pump. The One who allows the blood to run through our veins. So, do not bottle your emotions inside, but rather decide to hand them over to be bottle and written down. This is when true healing comes. 

God is not blind to what you are facing or what challenges await you. He knows. He cares. He loves you with an unconditional love - a love so incomprehensible. He has a plan for you, and He is ready for you to find healing through Him - not your own remedy. Are you ready to experience the healing that is found through Christ? He is ready to bring restoration. He will catch your tears drop-by-drop and seal it in His bottle He has chosen specifically for you. 

"Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?"  

- Psalm 56:8 

Faith > Failure

                                               
                                  Faith > Failure 

                        Jessica Sunday 

If there is one thing that I have learned in life it is that people try to define us by our failures, imperfections, and setbacks. Not only do people do this but Satan also desires for us to stay in bondage to our critics, insecurities, and short comings. In 1 Peter 5:8, the Bible says, " Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:." Satan is seeking to devour us. To say the least, he does not have our best interest in mind. 

This is where our faith kicks in. There is no doubt that the time will come when you will face an unseemly difficult circumstance, failure, or setback. Or perhaps it has already arrived. Placing your faith in Christ rather than the circumstance will overcome your failure. In essence, your faith will become bigger than your failure. 

To the world it would not seem logical for one's faith to be increased during failure but rather decreased. Do not be afraid of your weakness because this is when Christ can be glorified. This is when people will look to you to see if your faith has wavered, more specifically, your critics or those who do not know Christ. 

When you know God is for you, you will not be focused on who is against you, and you certainly will not be focused on your failure knowing that God desires to prosper you. He is bigger than any failure in your life and desires to use it for His glory. 

Recently, I have faced a failure in my life and quite honestly a setback. I failed out of my second semester of nursing school. After a long semester of continuous studying, early morning clinicals, exhausting days, and not to mention perfect attendance for all of labs, lectures, and clinicals, I ended up failing by two points. Two points! 

However, instead of being devastated by this setback, I refused to be defined by it. I have learned that nursing does not define who I am as a person. I am still intelligent, encouraging, understanding, giving, funny, and positive. All of these are traits that the Lord has blessed me with, and failing out of nursing school did not change that. I used what many would call a setback to fuel new opportunities for this summer and fall. 

If I did not have my faith in God, I may not be able to say that I took it well. Of course there were times I broke down, questioned if I am smart enough, and doubted myself, but placing my faith in God overcame my sorrow, questions, and doubts. This is when people saw that my faith was and still is greater than my failures.

Are you facing a difficult crossroad in your life right now? Let me encourage you to increase your faith and to have victory over your failures. Remember, you do not have to be defined by them. 

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am WEAK, then am I STRONG." - II Cor. 12:9-10 

Whose Cup Are You Filling Up?

  Whose Cup Are You Filling Up? 

                          Jessica Sunday 

It's as simple as that. Whose cup are you filling up? Let's be honest. Life is tough. Life can be draining. The physical,social, and spiritual "tanks" we have set aside in our lives empty quickly if we are not careful. Day-by-day we need to be sure to fill up on positive and energizing things. Our relationships, careers, education, friendships, and "to-do lists" can drain our tanks if we let them consume our lives without taking time for ourselves and others. That almost sounds contradictory, but it is quite the opposite. While friendships, relationships, and careers can become draining, they do not have to be. As long as you take time to invest in yourself - filling up your own cup - it is then when you can begin to fill up in someone else's cup. When your life becomes full of positivity, opportunities, service, and joy, the only thing left for your cup to do is overflow into other people's cups. Your life is a direct reflection of the investment you have made in someone else's life.

John 10:10 says, "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." See, Satan wants our lives to drain completely so that we have nothing else to offer not only ourselves but also others. Jesus tells us here that He made a way for our lives to be abundant through Him. Did you catch that? Jesus wants us to live abundant lives! We do not need to stay captive by Satan's strongholds of self-doubt, insecurity, failure, setbacks, or disappointments. We are called to live abundantly in God's grace, favor, love, joy, and strength.

I have seen in my own life that when my cup is emptying, I am more miserable because I am tired, agitated, moody, and insecure. However, I have also found that when my cup is full, the more I am serving others, walking through opportunities God opens up for me, loving on people who cannot give back, and being secure in Jesus, my cup begins to overflow into someone else's life. It is evident when my cup is full and when it is not.

Here are some ways to fill up your cup:

1. Be still - Set aside a time where you can sit down and meditate on Scripture, come before God's throne with praise and prayer, and reflect on your life. 
2.  Serve - Find a local outreach, summer camp, church ministry, or organization that you can serve in. The more you serve others, the less you have time to worry about your own problems thus filling up someone else's cup and your cup. More often than naught when you go venture to serve others to fill up their cups, you return with so much more in yours. 
3. Something new - Do something new, something adventurous, something you never thought you could do - something totally out of your comfort zone! 
4. Travel - Go explore some place new with your friends! Experience a different culture, language, diet, climate, and more! 
5. Journal, read, and sip some coffee 
6. Visit a local coffee shop 
7. Take part in some shopping therapy with a group of friends 
8. Set goals & follow through 
9. Go for a walk, jog, or run. Just go! 
10. Write letters or cards to a friend or family member. 

So, what do you say? Whose cup are you filling up? Let me encourage you to make your own list of things you can do to fill up your cup. Once you focus on filling up your cup, you will be amazed of how other people's cups will be full from living such an abundant overflowing life!

Worth Dying For

Jessica Sunday

If you are on my blog right now, you did not come across it by accident. You are here because of a divine appointment by God. The One who loves you so much with an indescribable love that no man can comprehend. I am not sure what you are struggling with or if you are struggling at all. You may be at a mountain top in your life right now, but there may be someone who is in the valley - someone who is struggling. Wherever you are right now, if I can encourage you with one thing, let it be the message that you were worth dying for!

The One who people so quickly mock, take His holy name in vain, the One who is no longer allowed in schools or quite practically the White House, died for you. Jesus willingly died for you. He did not argue with the officials of that day. (I mean, He did not even have to argue, He could have just left them). He did not. He stayed and was beaten for both you and me. It went beyond that grueling beating  though.  He then carried His cross to a place called Calvary to be crucified - to take on the sins of the world. He was spat upon, ridiculed, scourged, mocked, and "worshiped." They beat a crown of thorns into His skull and gambled for His clothes. He hung naked upon that beautiful, terrible cross.

The cross was beautiful because it now symbolized the sacrifice that was enough for Jesus - His son. It was also beautiful because He was the only One who could be the atonement for our sins. We could do nothing. Not even the good works we do can take us even so close as the pearly gates when we pass on. He had to do it all, and He did. Jesus paid it all! The cross was terrible. It was terrible because it symbolized the cruelest death sentence of that day. Thousands were put to death by being crucified in front of people scoffing at  them. Jesus was the only One who could turn this terrible cross into something beautiful because of the sacrifice that was made on that day. Jesus died a horrific death for you and for me. The Bible tells us that He no longer looked like a man. He was unrecognizable.

You were worth dying for. Every blood-stained drop from the Savior was worth it to gain a relationship with you, but you must accept His sacrifice. So, what can we take away from the best love story ever demonstrated? Here are a few things that are important to remember that we often forget when reading the crucifixion passage.

1.  He was born to die. Have we forgotten that God is omniscient?  That term means that He knows everything! Can you imagine knowing you were born to die?  Of course, we know we are going to die someday, but to know you were born to die for a specific purpose? That is something that is hard to comprehend. I praise God that in spite of knowing His Son Jesus was born to die, that Jesus still came to take our place on the cross. The place we could never go. 
2.  He is all powerful, yet bore our sins.Do you remember the old hymn that says Jesus could have called ten thousand angels? My friend,as precious as that song is, Jesus did not have to call one angel! He could have freed Himself, but He chose to bear this suffering for us. The Bible says in John 15:16, "Ye have not chosen  me, but I have chosen you, ..."  He is all powerful! He chose us and bore our sins for us! What an amazing love! 
3. He died not only for the ones who loved Him but also for His enemies. In Luke 23:34 the Bible says, "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them: for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots." Although the soldiers continued to scoff at Him and gamble for His clothes, Jesus was concerned about their spiritual needs. There is nothing you can do that can separate you from the love of God. He is always ready to save you! 
4. He thought about others while on the cross. There were two thieves dying on each side of Him. One of them understood salvation and asked Jesus to remember him. Jesus told the man that he would be with Him in paradise today. Even on the cross, Jesus was concerned about the lost. 
5. He felt forsaken by His Father. In Matthew's account of the crucifixion, the Bible tells us in chapter 27 verse 46 that Jesus cried out with a loud voice saying, "... My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" Even Jesus felt forsaken by His Father going through this. Could you imagine hearing your son say this to you? This is when the sky became dark, and Jesus was taking on all the sins of the world. His Father could not look on the sin. 
6. He had you in mind. There is no doubt that God had YOU in mind when He was dying for you! He was scourged, crucified, and mocked for you so that you might accept His free gift of salvation. He wants more than anything for you to have a genuine relationship with you. He wants you in eternity with Him! He did not go through all of this for you for nothing! He desires you! 

YOU WERE WORTH DYING FOR! 

Truths from Ruth: Part 4

Widow to Wife

So, what does the last chapter  tell us about Ruth? I believe it speaks well of her patience. Throughout the previous chapters, many attributes were listed about Ruth and we can apply them to our daily lives.

Let's get real. Ruth may have been faint-hearted when Boaz told her that there was a nearer kinsman than himself. She may have been thinking, "What?! This is the man I have had my eye on! How could there possibly be someone else? What if the other kinsman chooses to take me for his own? Is this really happening"? These are the thoughts that may have been going through Ruth's mind. Pause. Have thoughts like these ever crossed your mind while you had your eye on a guy? Have you ever thought, "Is he talking to a girl? If he only knew I was interested! You cannot be serious! I have had an interest in him for quite sometime." If you answered yes to these questions, you are perfectly normal. I know I have had some of these inner thoughts. However, entertaining these kinds of thoughts can cloud our vision and prevent our having an abundant life Jesus intended us to live. Don't you think if Jesus wanted you to be with a certain guy, He would orchestrate it to happen? I believe we as ladies jump the gun when it comes to relationships. I am not saying it is wrong to desire one, but I am saying it is wrong when we go ahead of God trying to tell God what is best for us. Like we really know what is best for our lives anyway!

Call me old-fashioned, but I think it says a lot about a guy when he pursues a woman first. It makes me think he is confident and is not a coward, afraid to take initiative. It also makes me feel wanted when a guy initiates a relationship. Do the attributes you pursue make you a woman worth being pursued? Well, I suppose that can go both ways. In that, possessing bad attributes can attract the wrong guys.  What you are is what you attract. Ruth possessed amazing attributes that had Boaz interested in her, but he took the high road and was honest with Ruth about the nearer kinsman. Those were probably words neither he wanted to speak nor Ruth wanted to hear, but in the end, the other guy was not willing to accept Ruth and the land.

Ruth's patience paid off. She was patient to wait for the man God had for her after she was widowed at a young age. She was also patient in waiting for Boaz's response as to what the nearer kinsman had decided. I am sure when Ruth heard that the other guy did not want to take her as his own, she was ecstatic. Overjoyed! She and Boaz finally married and were blessed with a baby boy named Obed.

So, next time you get discouraged about when your night in shining armor is going to come, remember God has better plans for you if you remain patient for His best for your life. Notice I said "His best" because if you wait for your best, I guarantee you that you will be settling for less than His best for you.

Truths from Ruth: Part 3

Possessing Virtue

Before I start, can I just mention how amazing God is! I have noticed the more I develop my relationship with Christ, the more He orchestrates divine appointments. Even the small things line up! For example, I bought a book not knowing that it parallels the life of Ruth while God already knew that  I have been blogging about the life of Ruth! How amazing is that!? Have you ever had even the slightest divine circumstance happen? I am so glad God places little things in my life like that because it opens my eyes to see how big my God actually is.

As I was reading Ruth chapter 3, I began to wonder what the Lord would lay on my heart to share about Ruth. As I continued to read, I came across verse 11b which says, "...for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman." This is one of the things Boaz says to Ruth after she laid down at his feet. What Boaz says to Ruth is powerful! Put yourself in Ruth's shoes for a moment. Could you imagine someone telling you that the whole (city, church, college, work place, etc.) knows you are a virtuous woman? Ruth must have possessed some virtuous attributes  in order for Boaz to say that about her (let alone a whole city!). 

Proverbs 31 paints a good picture of what a virtuous woman ought to look like. Verse 10 of Proverbs 31 even says, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Every woman should strive to be a woman of virtue not only because they are rare but also because virtuous women please God. The word virtuous means to uphold a high moral standard. In a world that is saturated in immorality, we should be the women who hold high a moral standard that pleases God and encourages men to strive to be godly men of character with their own set of virtue. Although there are many ways to be virtuous, I would like to share eight ways that you can maintain a virtuous lifestyle.

 

1. Saturate yourself in God's Word. Be a God girl who literally is satisfied in Him alone before you are satisfied in any other relationships. Okay, let's be real because this is what this whole blog is  about! Some of my blog posts that are written are areas of my life that I struggle with. One thing  that I often struggle with is my Bible reading. It is a day-by-day struggle. Why? Because my carnal  flesh does not want to read the Bible, but when I am filled with Christ's Spirit, I love every second  of it! I have found when I skip my Bible reading, my soul longs for it. I am spiritually deprived, and my day usually does not go very well. When I do not take time to read my Bible, it becomes a priority issue. I then find I need to reprioritize what I place at the most valued position and that  should be Jesus Christ.

 

2. Shine His love.  Once you saturate yourself and are spiritually fed, go shine His love to people. There are so many hurting people out there who are searching for something to fill their void. Often times people try to fill the void with money, sex, drugs, pornography, entertainment, etc. However, what they are missing is the love of Jesus. The only Person who can fill their empty lives. When you radiate for Jesus, others will notice that there is something different about you - that difference being Jesus. Allow Jesus to shine through your life. Not because we are worthy (we   are not!) but because Jesus chooses to use us for His kingdom building.

 

3. Be dependable. Here are four questions to ask yourself. Can people come to you when they are in need of something? Can people come to you if they need advice? Do people come to you with prayer requests knowing that you will actually take time to pray? When you tell someone you are going to do something, can they trust that you will follow through? Try listing other ways you can be  dependable.

 

4. Embrace your beauty. No, I am not saying to fish for compliments, to be vain, or to disregard your health, but what I am saying is that God made you exactly how He wanted you to look. Did you ever think that every time you say you are ugly or think that "you just do not match up," that you are totally and blatantly telling God that He messed up when He created you? I am guilty as charged. But when I think of what I am in essence telling God, it makes me take a step back and realize what I have done. Whatever you do, do not let the world define your beauty and worth. Instead, be confident in the woman God created you to be.

 

5. Live above reproach. Philippians 2:15 says, "That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;" Nobody lives a perfect life, but do not give people the opportunity to speak ill of you. One thing I have learned is that it can take years to build your testimony, and it can take five seconds to destroy it. So be careful how you are living because you could very well be the only Bible someone will ever read.

 

6. Never settle. You heard me. NEVER settle for less than God's best for you! Do not settle for a Bozo when God has a Boaz for you! (You need to read Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall.She does a wonderful job warning us ladies about the Bozo guys and preparing our hearts for our Boaz).

 

7. Be productive. Do not be a lazy lady. Be productive! Learn a new hobby, prepare a new meal, strive to be better in your career, in your married life, or even your single life. Keep going! Plus, who would want to date someone who is not active? (Not me anyway!) I like adventures Someone once told me as I am serving God in ministry, He will eventually send me a guy who will serve with me (something to that degree anyway).

 

8. Lastly, Stay pure! Ladies, this goes beyond the physical aspect of purity. This encompasses your inner thoughts, speech, walk (lifestyle), dress, and the list goes on. Are your words becoming to the soul? Are you uplifting? Are you saving yourself physically for your future husband or are you giving pieces of your heart away where eventually you will have a scrap to give to your husband on your wedding day? There is a reason why the Bible tells us to guard our hearts and out of it are the issues of life. Did you ever think of the consequences your impurity could cost? It could cost a marriage, a child, a disease, etc. Most importantly, you would grieve God's heart. Will He forgive you?  Sure He will, but grieving our Holy God is heartbreaking. Plus, if you are holding out for God's best, your boyfriend should NEVER compromise your purity before marriage. Period. Be a mystery. Your boyfriend does not need to know everything about you. Let him get to know you on a deep emotional level not a physical level.