Guard Your Heart

Guard Your Heart

Jessica Sunday

Guarding your heart is sometimes the hardest thing to do at least for people who are of the nurturing and caring personality. People who love to pour themselves into opportunities and those around them freely without holding anything back are often the ones who have a difficult time abiding by a familiar verse found in Proverbs instructing us to guard our hearts. 

I will be the first one to admit that I have not made it an absolute priority to protect my heart over the years which left me feeling heartbroken, distraught, anxious, and worthless. Basically it left me with all the thoughts that Satan wants us to be thinking about in order to hinder our work from the Lord. That is a very dangerous place to be. 

We are instructed to guard our hearts with diligence because out of our heart comes the issues of life. Such issues could mean the dysfunction life brings, the grief we bear, the confrontations of others, the manipulative relationships, the insecure job, the loss we encounter, or the insecurities we have that circumstances have molded in us. Those are just some of the issues of life that come to my mind. I am sure you could name a thing or few of the issues of life that have really hit you. 

Your Heavenly Father says this to protect you from hurt and from heartache. Although not all hurt is unavoidable, there are ways we can remain guarded. Here are some ways to guard yourself in a relationship or the next opportunity that comes knocking at your door. 

1. Pray -  Pledge to pray for the specifics of a situation, person, or opportunity to see if it is of God for your life. 
2. Act - There is no doubt that this point can go one of two ways. One may decide to act by doing a kind thing for another person or by taking the next step in an opportunity. Some people may know that a certain person is not good company and brings out feelings of hurt for you. This may entail someone to not engage with that person so that it protects their heart. 
3. Reserve - Be reserved in sharing areas of your life unitl you have complete confidence that the person you are talking to is trustworthy in deep matters. 
4. Forgive - Please forgive the people in your past for making you feel insecure, worthless, anxious, or distraught. As much as guarding your heart is necessary, keeping mile high walls up to "protect" yourself based off of past hurt is not fair to the circumstance or person you are talking to. 

When you leave your heart unprotected, you leave room for thoughts of defeat, unworthiness, self-pity, anxiety, and insecurities to brew. These thoughts that are based off of a past experience can carry roadblocks in your next relationship or opportunities. Because of the hurt that was experienced, the mantra of building walls come into play. Guarding your heart and building up mile long walls are two very different things. By allowing walls to be built by past hurt, hurt that the current person you are speaking to did not cause, you block the relationship from growing. How you may be thinking? When someone who is building walls feels themselves getting vulnerable, they pull back. Or it may be when the person you are talking to offers you a word of encouragement, you doubt or question them due to past hurt that others have caused. You might even have thoughts of I heard that before. 

This mindset is completely unfair to offer someone. Instead of enjoying getting to know someone and growing together, either one of you or both of you are competing to see who places the next piece of the wall instead of helping each other break down the walls of past hurt together in order to grow closer together from the ground up. 

So, my encouragement to anyone reading this today is guard your heart with diligence, but break down the barriers that block you from the blessing standing right in front of you. 

"Keep your heart with all diligence, 

For out of it spring the issues of life."

Proverbs 4:23

First Year as an R.N. 

The Triumphs and Defeats 

Jessica Sunday 

September 5, 2019, was the anniversary of my first full year working as a Registered Nurse on a cardiac unit. It is hard to believe that a year has come and gone in my first nursing job. I have grown so much during this year. I have been stretched in ways I never thought possible. I did not make it this far in my own strength, but God's strength and wisdom. The ironic thing is, God places us in situations sometimes that we tell Him that we do not want to do or maybe we just do not have faith in what He can do through us. 

Many years ago I thought God wanted me to be an elementary school teacher so I vowed never to pursue healthcare, but God flipped the script of what I thought He wanted me to do two months before graduating high school. Then, when I was in nursing school covering the cardiac section of the semester, I said the last nurse I would be was a cardiac nurse. That seems like it is way too much or way too hard for me to do. 

Fast forward a little bit. That was the first and only nursing job that I had in my first year of nursing, and I was right back then. It is hard, but it is not impossible to learn how to be an avid cardiac nurse. 

Looking back from where I have come this past year, makes me eager to see what plans God has for me in the future of nursing. I have grown so much in my clinical skills as a nurse that I am more confident each day I go to work. The confidence I feel is not an arrogant confidence but rather a confidence in knowing what I am doing to help my patients. No nurse will know exactly everything, but those who want to see you grow, learn, and succeed will always be a source of guidance. 

With great triumphs, come defeats in this profession. There was a period this year that I felt extremely burnt out as a new nurse. Feeling burnt out is hard and not good for your health. It wears one down. Burn out comes and goes. Perhaps you have dealt with burnout in your profession. When I felt like I could not tolerate feeling like that, I took a weekend trip that seemed to help. I think it is important to get away if one is feeling burnt out wherever they are. 

Loss is hard as a nurse which I think can definitely attribute to nurse burn out as well as under appreciation does. What people often do not realize is all the behind the scene work nurses actually do. Caregiver role strain is a cause which usually means a family member takes care of their loved one who may be in the hospital, but I believe healthcare professionals can experience this role strain as we care for people day in and day out. 

As hard as nursing truly is, I would not want to do anything else as a career. It can be extremely rewarding. Nurses see things that we wish nobody will ever see, but we also see things that make our whole shift worthwhile, and we try not to take those things for granted. I believe God may stretch me in different ways in this career as He already has in having me start out in telemetry. I cannot wait to see where He takes me in nursing. 

Here's to another year of nursing, and the lives I get to touch and the lives that touch mine!

Everglades Extravaganza: He Knows Your Need

Everglades Extravaganza: 

He Knows Your Need    

Jessica Sunday 

Hey, everyone! Meet Kristie! Does her smile not light up this gift shop at the Everglades Holiday Park center?  Less than a week ago, I had the privilege of meeting this wonderful woman. As you can tell, this photo was taken after the brief period of heavy downpour. This awesome introduction happened when my neighbors and I walked into this gift shop to purchase our airboat tour tickets which included: 1-hour in the Everglades, 2 photos, and a gator show with the Paul Bedard from the TV show Gator Boys. We were pumped for this adventure to come! This is when I met Kristie. 

Before I walked in, she spotted me from the parking lot anticipating my arrival. Her countenance lifted when she thought her sister Kelly was on her way to greet her with coffee and some blueberry muffins as a pick-me-up. Okay, so the coffee and muffins were a bit exaggerated, but a lady can wish, right? As I was waiting to purchase my tickets, she looked up and proceeded to say, Hey, I just wanted to tell you that you just made my entire day. I was having a bad day and then you came in. I thought you were my sister Kelly. When she is around, I light up. Your smile made my day, thank you. You look like her!  I was taken back by what she said. I said thank you, and proceeded to tell her that that is how I feel when I see my best friend Kelly. It was neat how the conversation went. 

I then proceeded to go on the airboat tour with my neighbors, and did we have a great time! When we were on the airboat in the the middle of the Everglades, I could not get her out of my head. I knew God was telling me, Jess, you need to get out of your comfort zone, and  you need to get a photo with her when you get back. I did not lead you into her life for no reason. I knew her need ,so I sent you. 

Think about that for a second. I knew her need, so I sent you. How convicting! Jesus knows our needs before we know our needs. He does not leave us empty handed... EVER! It may not be in the exact way we thought our need would be met, but He uses those around us to fulfill His ultimate purpose in our lives to glorify His Son. That day was one of those days. He saw Kristie's need for encouragement, a smile, a hug, and a kind word, and He chose me to be a vessel for His use. I say that humbly because God can use anyone to fulfill His purpose. You do not have to have it all together to be able to encourage someone having a rough day. 

Actually, this is for free, if you are ever having a bad day, go do something for someone. This takes your mind off of your own problems and focuses your attention on the needs of others. With that being said, it is okay not to be okay. If you are having a bad day, claim it. Seek someone to talk to. Pray or even ask for prayer if praying is not your style. Someone will cover you whether that means prayerfully,  financially, materially, or timely. Make your need known. Who knows, you may be placed in someone's life sporadically this week with the opportunity to meet their need. Will you step up to meet the need or will you stay in your comfort zone? Nothing exciting ever came from living in the comfort zone. 

So, go buy that bogo coffee to share with someone. Go give that extra hug, smile, and word of encouragement. Treat others as if everyone is having the worst day of their lives because you never know what someone is dealing with inside. Just like people can look as if they are living the dream life, bodies of water in Florida could look nice and calm, but it could contain a gator. The moral is to be conscientious in how you approach people, and praise God she thought I was an approachable person. Now, go love on some people! 

"...For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. ..."

Matthew 6:8 

Know Your Worth

Know Your Worth

Jessica Sunday

"Know your worth!," is a phrase many of us have spoken to the ones that are closest to us. It is often used when a friend may be talking to someone who you know would not be good for your friend. It is used in breakups or as a general word of encouragement. I could not help but gaze at this photo before I realized that the woman on this bus is a prime example of worth. We have all rode on the bus of "low self worth." It is a bus I have been  on and a bus I sometimes still catch a ride on here and there. Let me tell you, you never get what you pay for when you get on this bus. I can encourage all the people in the world to know their worth, but if I cannot know my own worth, I speak in vain. Likewise, you can tell all your friends and family to know their worth, but if you do not know yours, what's the purpose? 

The only reflection starring back at you is yourself not anybody else. We need to look our reflection in the mirror and say, "I know my worth today. I am worth more than I can ever imagine. I am not defined by anyone's views of me. I am created with a divine purpose. I stand confident in the woman or man I am becoming. I am worth it!" No more starring at your reflection trying to be somebody else's reflection of what you think worth is, beauty is, fun is, attractive is, success is, or acceptable is. The only reflection you are is a direct reflection of yourself not your parents, not your professors, not your friends, or your family, They may have influenced you in great ways in the man or woman you are becoming, but your reflection is made up of decisions, places, and circumstances you have made, been, and have been through in life. 

So, here is to embracing who you are: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Each of these categories do not hinge on your worth though. Many struggle with thinking they are less than worth it on their ugly days, but that could not be further from the God-fearing truth. If you are struggling to find your worth, here is something that will blow your mind. 

Jesus knew your worth before you could ever fathom knowing it. He proved your worth when He was nailed to the cross and died for you. Jesus thought you were worth dying for. Ponder that for awhile, and it will blow you away. 

Takeaways: 

• You were worth dying for.
• Don't stare at your reflection so hard that you try to be somebody else's reflection - that's impossible!
• If you do not know your own worth, how can you expect somebody else to know theirs? 
• Your ugly days do not hinge on your worth. 
• On the days you are struggling to claim your worth, Jesus already claimed it at the cross. 

"You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you."

John 15:16

Tattoos, Faith, Protocols, and Skill Set

Tattoos, Faith, Protocols, and Skill Set

Jessica Sunday

I'm not sure where to even begin with this blog entry, but I wanted to take the time to share the reason and meaning of why I got my first tattoo. As many are supportive about my recent tattoo, there are some who have their opinions as to why I just defiled the body God created me with. Before you judge me for mine, hear me out. 

I want to start off by saying that if I am unsure about a certain conviction in my life, I tend not to act on it until I know why I believe what I believe. Some decisions or convictions about drinking, piercings, and tattoos are examples. Here, I will be discussing tattoos only. I did my research about tattoos and Christianity. I actually watched a YouTube video a year-or-so ago entitled, "Are Tattoos Sinful?" by Jefferson Bethke. I will post the link below. I believe Jeff explains it best Biblically in this video. He explains the passage in Leviticus that is often taken out of context by the ones who are against tattoos. He truly did such a good presentation and explanation that it cleared up a lot of my questions when it came to if it was okay for a Christian to get them. My conclusion for my personal walk with Christ was that it is totally fine; however, it does matter what your tattoo is. I wouldn't mark my body with profane tattoos. That is to say, my convictions may not be your convictions, and if you are against them, that is your conviction the Holy Spirit laid on your heart. 

My tattoo is pictured below with a cross, heart rhythm, heart, a hymn title, and a date each symbolizing something very special and close to my heart. The cross symbolizes the moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. He nailed all my past, present, and future sins to that cross. He thought a sinner like me was worth dying for, and I will be forever grateful for that. If you don't know Him, He thought you were worth dying for as well. That was the most important decision I made in my life at the age of 10. Secondly, the cardiac rhythm is a symbol that healing is not linear. If there are no ups and downs in your life, you are flat lined, or in other words, you are dead. Thirdly, one of the attributes or gifts from God I possess is my heart for others. Often times, I am guilty of wearing my heart on my sleeve which can be a good asset or a bad evil. The dates is when my Great Grandmother passed away. That evening my mother and I were the only two family members left in the room when we began to sing, "It is Well with My Soul," After the last verse, she took her last breath. That was a bitter-sweet moment because was it 'really well with my soul?' or was it was comforting knowing that everything will be okay? At that moment, I decided that I wanted to be a nurse even though I desired to be a teacher my entire life and vowed I would never go into healthcare. Well, sometimes the Lord has a way of changing our plans, but as long as I was in the center of His will, that was more than okay with me...not that He was asking for my approval. 

For the negativity I have received about the tattoo, I do not care. As many want to think they know my Great Grandmother and what she would have wanted, that humors me. To be honest, sure maybe she would not have liked it herself, but she also lived in a different time. I got it for myself to honor her memory not out of a spirit of "liberation" or rebellion. Also, "people are not going to know or care about what it means." Usually people ask what tattoos mean if they see one, and if they don't ask or care that's okay because I didn't get it for others, I got it for myself. Next, someone said, "they will just see a tat and add it to how they see you." If they view me poorly based on having a tattoo, they have a heart issue that needs addressed. 

There are people who feel that nurses should not have tattoos because it's a "high" profession. As it may be a 'high' profession, it's often the most under thanked, exhausting, bullied, etc. profession. It's rewarding, and I am glad to be able to serve my patients; however, if a protocol is going to tell me to cover my tattoos, I will do my best to follow it. Do patient's fear nurses in tats? Do hospital policy makers  think it interferes with my skill set, knowledge, critical thinking, and care I provide to my patients? No ink deep enough could come close to interfering with the care I provide to my patients day-in and day-out. 

Today, I wore my mermaid tattoo cover to work and about two to three people thought my cover was my tattoo. So, tell me again how sleeves do not draw as much attention than the actual tattoo or how many people wanted to see my tattoo and know the meaning... 

So, here's a shoutout to Jeremy who is talented, and gave me a special tattoo to remember my Great Grandmother by, my faith, and my first job as a cardiac nurse. Like he told me before I go my tattoo, "You work at your job 40 hours a week, you're in your body forever." 

                                                                                                                                                         Until next time,                                                              The Tatted Nurse

"For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." 

Romans 10:13 

•      "Are Tattoos Sinful?" https://youtu.be/rN3voADV14Y
•       Tattoo shop: Needles of Fury in Natrona Heights, PA http://www.noftattoo.com/

Hustle Hard, but Stay Humble

Hustle Hard, but Stay Humble

Jessica Sunday

It was not but a few weeks ago when I finally completed my introductory period as a new graduate nurse. The role I  tediously worked so hard for finally paid off, but not without the long journey of nursing school, sleepless nights, failed exams, early clinicals, supportive friends and family, my faithful Lord, and my current co-workers and supervisors. All of these challenges with the prayers and help of my amazing support system, made this accomplishment possible. It is important never to forget the people who saw you through in the midst of some of the most difficult times in your life. 

I remember the time I had to wait a year to repeat nursing school and thought that was my demise. My heart hurt to the point where I let nursing school define who I was as a woman. Boy, was I totally wrong. It was not until I saw the purpose through the painful failure that I began to curve my perspective of those semesters. Someone from my clinical group had shared with me how my positive attitude and passion for the Lord encouraged her to return to church. That was shared with me sometime after I found out that I needed to return in a year if I ever wanted to become a nurse. I reflected on what she shared, and I thought ... isn't that what life is all about? Reflecting the love of Jesus...being vulnerable, admitting your weaknesses so you can see God's work through the brokenness so that His strength might shine forth? So, I waited a year only to return to meet new nursing buddies who were also encouraged in similar ways. Needless to say, you are meant to reach people wherever you are in whatever season you may find yourself. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I was electronically signing myself off of the introductory period. My supervisor left me with something that went like... "Jess, remember where you came from. Don't act like you know everything." That is when I said, " I got to stay humble." 

She then acknowledged the choice of words I used and believed that was a great way to remember what she was encouraging me to do throughout my nursing career. 

Remember, it is important to hustle hard, but do not hustle so hard that pride gets in the way of remaining humble. Own what you know and learn throughout your years, but seek guidance when you need it. Wherever you may find yourself, know that there is someone behind you that needs your humble spirit to be a role model as they may seek to aspire you. 

 "Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips."

Proverbs 27:2 

Hesed

Hesed

Jessica Sunday 

I recently bought some devotionals from The Daily Grace Co. One entitled "Hymns: A Study on Classic Hymns" and "His Love Never Fails" both of which have been encouraging. I highly recommend trying a devotional from their company. They are very affordable and full of so much spiritual truth. I will be sure to add their link below. I decided to refresh my devotional inventory not only because I hardly have any devotionals but also I find it hard to have my devotions faithfully. I truly believe that people prioritize what is most valuable to them, so if I find my Savior valuable or rather important to me, why do I not prioritize Him like I should? It is so much easier to make excuses for the lack of prioritizing due to the circumstances or busyness around one's life; however, I think the simple honest truth of the matter is plain. I (we) neglect my devotions because I (we) do not prioritize Him into (my) our (life) lives like (I) we should. When we neglect to do this, our lives often become exhausting, draining, and more difficult than what they really need to be. We might even feel "spiritually dead." This is what happens when we are the ones who depart from His presence. 

When I sat down this afternoon to have my devotions, I decided to open my second devotional as pictured above. The first devotional entry was entitled Steadfast Love. The Hebrew word for this is "Hesed." Hesed has been translated into many English words... mercy, steadfast love, favor, goodness, loyalty, lovingkindness, and grace. Such love is the love that Jesus pursues us with! Its relentless, never-ending, all-satisfying, unconditional love was displayed to the children of Israel as it is available and given to us! This is a love that even when Israel was unfaithful to Him, God did not let their unfaithfulness stop Him from loving them unconditionally. That part of the devotional hit me! 

Even when I am unfaithful to God time and time again in dismissing my devotions, He "heseds" me no matter what I do. His love goes deeper than the human love can ever consider going. His love endures when it is tough. His love endures when communication is severed between His child and Himself. We will never be able to love exactly like Jesus loves, but we can try to love those around us more considerately. We can also purpose in our hearts to make it a priority to spend a little more time with Jesus instead of "fitting" Him into our busy schedules. What is a devotional that has helped you in your spiritual walk? I would love to hear from you! 

Link to The Daily Grace Co. : https://thedailygraceco.com/

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." 

Lamentations 3:22-23